Empowering Spokane Youth Through Leadership, Self-Worth, and Healthy Relationships.

“My name is Liam and this is my story. I am 19 years old and I am an LGBTQ member identifying as trans gay male. My previous name was Stephanie and it was hard for me being comfortable as a girl because I identified as a male since I was 14. It was hard because I was not comfortable in my own skin….. It was particularly hard for me because I felt like a man trapped in a female body.. When I was Stephanie I was in a relationship that was very unhealthy. My boyfriend David would threaten to hit me and threaten to harm my family. He would always do this off of school property behind the closed doors. He was very nice in public but behind closed doors he was very different. He even threatened to hurt my dog. My dog was everything to me and he knew that. He would stalk me at school and follow me through the halls. He was very manipulative and made me the laughing stock of the school. Making jokes in front of people to make himself look better and embarrass me. He would apologize over and over and promise me things would get better and that he loved me. He used me for my money…and always manipulated me into buying everything. He invaded my personal privacy and made me physically sick with worry. Our relationship started out sweet in the beginning and then it turned into a monstrosity. He was physical with me and I feel lucky to be alive today. I was paralyzed with fear to leave. Finally, I filed a no contact order and he was suspended from school and moved out of the state.

Now identifying as a trans gay male, I have also experienced power and control in a relationship. My dating partner and I met online and he started creeping me out – he lived right next store and would watch my every move. Always asking me where I was and who I was with. He was pressuring me for intimacy and did not respect my boundaries. He wanted me to be in a poly relationship with his friends. Every time I would try to break up he with him he would grab my arm or wrist and try to force me to stay. It was very scary. He would scream profanities at me. I have always had difficulty with respecting myself and holding true to boundaries in my relationships.

Today I feel like I am in a good place because I am taking things slow with all my relationships both in friendships and in dating. Going through the Create Your Statement program, I can now say that I have been through a lot and I have persevered. I am learning new skills and how to set clearer boundaries. I believe I can set healthy stable boundaries and recognize when people are crossing them. My personal statement is “If I put my mind to it I can do it.” After taking this class I now know myself worth… I am valuable. I understand that regardless if you identify as a male or female you can still fall victim to dating violence, the good news is you are not alone, there are resources and people out there to help!”